Wow ... insightful and brave piece. I will look through the resources you provided and may have more to comment after that. My father, who will adamantly claim he is not racist, will often refer to Black Americans as "The Blacks". He recently said to me "You have to admit that The Blacks are the funniest comedians". He legit thought he was being complimentary. Which I think he was ... yet when I try to explain that just sticking the word The in front sends the message the he sees them as separate, or at worst lesser than himself, he will tell me "you are taking it too far" or "that's ridiculous". I don't know, maybe. It just sounds bad and doesn't feel right. True he isn't running around using the typical derogatory terms or stereotypical type casting. The larger point I try to make to him is ... why even add the word The? I don't hear him calling his white friends The Whites. Having an unconscious bias like this isn't easy to eradicate, especially when you have convinced yourself "I am not racist" ... but this is why conversations and education are so important. Keep learning, growing and working at being better. It is not an option it is an obligation.
I was also one of those that would always say, "I'm not racist," but I never gave it a thought to the unconscious bias I carried with me all the time. I prided myself on coming from a relatively diverse background, diverse friends, and so on - never thinking that I could at all be racist. I definitely thought "I don't see color." But even in that, there is bias as it's so important to see, acknowledge, and celebrate different colors. Seeing them as same as me is a clear sign of white privilege because their life experiences are incredibly different from mine. I wasn't kidding when I said it hurt when I started looking at myself and how I could possibly be contributing to racism. My pride got knocked down quite a few pegs. My father did something similar to yours in the sense that when I started dating, he preferred I didn't date outside of my own race but framed it in the "I don't want you to get hurt, rejected, attacked, etc. for it." He was referencing his brother who married a full Korean woman in Korea (he was stationed there with the military) and their experience as a mixed-race couple back in the 60's when they moved back to Virginia. But the conversation centered around black men because I did date an Asian and they didn't have a problem with him at all. My dad never saw that conversation as racist. He saw it as protecting his daughter. I agree that it's so important that we keep having these conversations, educating ourselves, and standing up as an ally to the black community.
Wow ... insightful and brave piece. I will look through the resources you provided and may have more to comment after that. My father, who will adamantly claim he is not racist, will often refer to Black Americans as "The Blacks". He recently said to me "You have to admit that The Blacks are the funniest comedians". He legit thought he was being complimentary. Which I think he was ... yet when I try to explain that just sticking the word The in front sends the message the he sees them as separate, or at worst lesser than himself, he will tell me "you are taking it too far" or "that's ridiculous". I don't know, maybe. It just sounds bad and doesn't feel right. True he isn't running around using the typical derogatory terms or stereotypical type casting. The larger point I try to make to him is ... why even add the word The? I don't hear him calling his white friends The Whites. Having an unconscious bias like this isn't easy to eradicate, especially when you have convinced yourself "I am not racist" ... but this is why conversations and education are so important. Keep learning, growing and working at being better. It is not an option it is an obligation.
Have you ever heard of racial micro agressions?
I was also one of those that would always say, "I'm not racist," but I never gave it a thought to the unconscious bias I carried with me all the time. I prided myself on coming from a relatively diverse background, diverse friends, and so on - never thinking that I could at all be racist. I definitely thought "I don't see color." But even in that, there is bias as it's so important to see, acknowledge, and celebrate different colors. Seeing them as same as me is a clear sign of white privilege because their life experiences are incredibly different from mine. I wasn't kidding when I said it hurt when I started looking at myself and how I could possibly be contributing to racism. My pride got knocked down quite a few pegs. My father did something similar to yours in the sense that when I started dating, he preferred I didn't date outside of my own race but framed it in the "I don't want you to get hurt, rejected, attacked, etc. for it." He was referencing his brother who married a full Korean woman in Korea (he was stationed there with the military) and their experience as a mixed-race couple back in the 60's when they moved back to Virginia. But the conversation centered around black men because I did date an Asian and they didn't have a problem with him at all. My dad never saw that conversation as racist. He saw it as protecting his daughter. I agree that it's so important that we keep having these conversations, educating ourselves, and standing up as an ally to the black community.
Very well said