Accountability Prevailed

But our work has only just begun.

Accountability prevailed this week, my friends. Derek Chauvin was found guilty on all 3 counts of murder against George Floyd. When the judge read the verdicts, the world as one took a collective breath for Floyd. 

And then another young black life was taken when she was shot and killed by police that same day. 

Our collective breath became a sob. 

Last week, I talked about #BlackLivesMatter and what is happening to Black Americans has got to stop. I also challenged you to do the hard work, internally and externally. I’m challenging myself, as well. 

And let me tell you, it’s not easy at all. Frankly, it sucks. And hurts. And makes me ashamed for the part I, and my ancestors, have played in any of this. Racism runs in my family. It’s a horrible thing to say but I can’t shy away from the truth. Just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean I should ignore it. I have to admit it, acknowledge it, and do the work. 

For those of us who are white, it’s easy to check out and not talk about George Floyd, Trayvon Martin, Breona Taylor, and so many other names, as well as policing, or racial injustice. It’s easy for us to keep it on the peripheral and not feel a passion for it. It’s simple to say that you don’t need to get worked up about it until a verdict comes in or something is decided. Because it’s not happening directly to us. This, my friends, is exactly white privilege. 

A big part of my family comes from the south which we all know was a breeding ground for slavery, lynchings, and other horrible, dehumanizing things for Black Americans. While I can’t tell you for sure that my southern ancestors were slaveholders, there’s a pretty high chance that was the case. 

When I was a child, my Papa (grandfather) had a Chesapeake Bay Retriever dog that he adored, named Toke. Toke had a deep, rough bark that would make anyone think twice about stepping onto their property but he was deeply loyal and lovable to family. I only knew the dog through pictures as he had passed away by the time my brother and I came along. They often would compare him to Teal, the dog I did know as a child, and remark on both dog’s hunting abilities and personalities. 

Apparently, Teal had a calmer, softer demeanor than Toke and was more friendly. Teal had silky, chocolate brown curly fur that, as a child, I loved running my fingers through when I cuddled with him. I remember my brother and I often cuddled and played with Teal when we would visit my grandparents. He loved chasing a ball that we would throw for him.  

Teal and Toke were both trained hunting dogs and my Papa loved to take them on bird hunts - geese, pheasant, grouse...you name it. He was gruffly proud of the dogs. But what he didn’t often tell people was that Toke was also trained to chase Black people off his property. 

We don’t talk about that side of him. But it was there. Although as my Papa got older, I believe his views grew more tolerant - or at least weren’t as visible. Teal was never trained like Tok was when it came to people - he was gentler and much more tolerant.

As my Papa developed Alzheimer’s in his later years, he became psychotic and violent. The strong, proud blue-collar man I had known and loved faded away into someone I didn’t recognize. The sad thing with Alzheimer’s is that it strips away who you currently are and you tend to become who you used to be. That ugly racist side stepped forward more openly and verbally. 

I know he had no control over that because of Alzheimer’s. I don’t blame or fault him at all. When you’re faced with a disease that strips away your humanity, there’s not much you can do about it. He had no idea who he even was at that point.

But it reminded me that the history of racism is in my family. I can’t ignore it or wish it away. I can’t deny it, either. While I may not do what my Papa did, there are other ways in which I have to take ownership. And my generation needs to step up and break the systemic racism within my own family history. That is the internal work I need to do. 

I truly believe, along with Oprah (mentioned in her podcast with Martha Beck), that a collective reckoning in America has begun. We have an incredibly long way to go but it can be done. Fixing racism feels necessary but impossible and many of us feel exhausted from trying. But as justice scientist Dr. Phillip Atiba Goff, says in his TED Talk, “Our definition of racism is what makes it feel impossible...We march to stop killings which are behaviors, not feelings. It’s action over feelings...We need to change our definition of racism from attitudes to behaviors...Then it becomes still necessary, but possible.” 

Many of us often think that we have no power to change the world. That what we do will never have an impact. But we are the world - through our families, our friends, our communities, our work. Even change on a small scale can have a ripple effect to a larger scale. Don’t underestimate your power to be an agent for change. 

Below is a list of various resources that can help you do the work, internally and externally, to be the change we need to see to create a more just and equitable world. There are a ton of resources out there but these are a few of my favorites.

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RESOURCES

Anguish and Action - Resources to learn about police violence and antiracism, as well as actions you can take to encourage reform, from organizations who have been working on these issues at the local and national level for years.

How We Can Make Racism a Solvable Problem - TED Talk by Dr. Phillip Atiba Goff

Rest in Power - Book by Trayvon Martin’s parents talking about issues of race and criminalization

The Leadership Conference Education Fund - The New Era of Public Safety initiative offers groundbreaking tools to create accountability and increase trust, fairness, justice, and mutual respect between police departments and the communities of color they serve. The report and toolkit offer policy solutions to equip communities and police departments with best practices and recommendations for adopting 21st century policing models, including tools for advocacy.

Black Lives Matter - Resources for discussion and change

Rachel Cargle - An Akron, Ohio born public academic, writer, and lecturer. Her activist and academic work are rooted in providing intellectual discourse, tools, and resources that explore the intersection of race and womanhood.

The Great Unlearn - Resources and critical discourse to aid in unlearning by Rachel Cargle

103 Things White People Can Do for Racial Justice

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