It Has to Stop.

#blacklivesmatter

Apr 13, 2021

Hi Friends,

When I was 17 years old, I lived in a small town in New Jersey. I had just gotten my driver’s license a few months earlier, so new it was still shiny. A girl friend and I were out cruising around headed to the bowling alley across town.

I was at a stoplight, the light turned green, and I turned right. Suddenly, I noticed a police car behind me. I started to panic because I had forgotten to put my turn signal on before I made the turn. But surely a cop wouldn’t pull me over for that. It seemed so minor.

But sure enough, the lights flashed on behind me. My stomach was full of nervous butterflies. This was all so new to me. I had no idea what would happen. Was I going to get a ticket? How would I explain this to my parents? I freaking just got my license and was already getting in trouble!

The white, burly cop ambled up the car. I greeted the officer politely as I was taught. I could feel my heart in my throat and the nervous sweats start. He asked if I knew why he pulled me over. I knew and spoke the truth. That I didn’t turn my signal on before I turned. He said, yep, asked for my license and registration, then went back to his car.

Talk about crapping in my pants. He came back to the car, handed my stuff back, and then proceeded to lecture me on the importance of the turn signal.

And then he let me go with a warning.

A warning. That’s it.

Let me be clear about something with this true story. We were two young white women. He was an older white cop. And while I was sweating nervous buckets, wondering what on earth I would tell my parents, worried about having to pay a ticket…

NOT ONCE DID I EVER FEAR FOR MY LIFE.

NEVER.

I have been pulled over a couple of times throughout my life since then for various reasons. And I STILL HAVE NOT FEARED FOR MY LIFE.

Daunte Wright didn’t have that luxury.

George Floyd didn’t have that privilege.

Rayshard Brooks didn’t stand a chance.

Breonna Taylor never knew what hit her.

Alatiana Jefferson will never see her nephew grow up.

Stephon Clark will never make another call.

Botham Jean will never enjoy another bowl of ice cream.

Tamir Rice will never play again with his sister.

This is only a handful of the Black Americans killed by police within the past 10 years. There are so many more.

As a white woman, I don’t live with the fear of being murdered by police. Black Americans don’t have the same privilege.

A Black American woman friend of mine shared her story of how she has to educate her children on what to do to not upset a cop if they ever get stopped because of the likely potential they could lose their lives.

Not because they could get a warning or a ticket.

They could be murdered for simply being a different color.

Systemic racism is real, my friends. Police brutality against Black Americans is real.

And it needs to stop.

The first step we, as white privileged Americans, need to take is to acknowledge that racism actually exists. We can’t stick our heads in the sand any longer. We can’t pretend that “all lives matter” and “blue lives matter” to the exclusion of “black lives matter.” We have to stop thinking that we aren’t racist and we aren’t privileged. Because we are. No matter how small that you may feel that’s inside/outside you, it still is there. We need to admit it and do the work...do our part...in being the change we need to see to end systemic racism and police brutality.

Doing your own personal internal work is awesome, and I massively encourage it. But it’s not enough. We need to do more.

Get involved with organizations that are fighting it. Be the boots on the ground. Join in the protests in the streets. Demand fundamental change from institutions. Speak up when you see it happening around you, no matter how big or small. Elect leaders and policymakers who won’t reinforce or support structurally racist policies.

Doing this hard work requires us to move beyond reform and into articulating clearly that the current system hasn’t worked in the past, does not work now, and will never work.

I long for our Black sisters and brothers to live long, healthy lives without fear of being killed, abused, decimated, debased, or dehumanized simply because of the color of their skin.

What will you do today to be the change we so desperately need?

The Heart-centered Rebel™ Letters

Discussion about this post