Is Saying "I Have Mental Health Problems" a Cop-Out?
Let's talk Simone Biles, Anthony Bourdain, you, and me
Is saying “I have mental health problems” a cop-out? Some people seem to think so. I’m sure you’ve seen the news by now (unless you’ve been living under a rock) that Simone Biles dropped out of the all-around final gymnastics competition at the Olympics.
At first, it was hard to comprehend that the G.O.A.T. (greatest of all time) would even consider dropping out of the competition. We expected to see life-changing gymnastics with Biles front and center. But as we all gasped while we watched her struggle on live TV, not completing her round and stumbling, deep down we knew there was something larger happening.
She left the floor with her trainers after her failed vault. Shortly after, a statement was issued by USA Gymnastics’ Twitter account:
"After further medical evaluation, Simone Biles has withdrawn from the final individual all-around competition at the Tokyo Olympic Games, in order to focus on her mental health.”
Of course, out came the trolls and people lambasting her for taking such a drastic step. One post I read likened her leaving to a 7-year-old having a temper tantrum because she wasn’t performing well for others, so bailing on the competition was her way of saying “I give up.”
I, for one, applaud Biles for making an extremely difficult choice for herself. She knew what the world and the USA expected from her, what her teammates and coaches expected, and the expectations she had of herself. To walk away from all that to protect her mind and body…that takes incredible courage and strength. Because don’t think for a second that she wasn’t aware what the toxic response would be from many people. She knew she would be attacked, at times hatefully, for her choice. What she didn’t know or expect was the outpouring of praise, respect, and support she also received, including from many high-profile figures in sports, entertainment, and politics.
Her choice put mental health front and center, where it should always be but sadly it’s almost never discussed, especially in the sports and entertainment worlds. It’s also part of the problem with police violence, kids struggling in school, mass shootings, abuse, suicide, conspiracy theories, and more. And yet, it gets poohed-poohed all the time.
Last weekend, I watched the “Roadrunners” documentary about former chef and traveler, Anthony Bourdain, and his struggle with mental health which ultimately ended up in suicide, whose one of my heroes. An odd choice for a hero, I suppose. Some would look at him and call him an anti-hero based on his attitude, sarcasm, rebelliousness, and approach to life. But that’s exactly why I love him.
When he started his TV show “No Reservations” and “Parts Unknown,” he made the world smaller through connection. People in other parts of the world became our neighbors. Politics and war that we watched from a distance became uncomfortably real. It no longer became about the food but about the people and their circumstances. He had a gift for bringing out the deep in people so that we saw the real rawness and not a “made for tv” show. He didn’t give a fuck what others thought of him in many ways, although at the same time he craved belonging and feeling loved. He also struggled for years with addiction and depression (mental health). I believe people saw his pain, his depression, his manic episodes toward the end but didn’t step in to do anything about it because we don’t talk about mental health enough. Instead, it’s the “Oh, he’s just being Tony…but a little more dramatic than usual.”
No, he was fucked up, drowning in his despair, crazy to feel something that wasn’t hurting, chose a different form of addiction with a woman, and lost himself completely. That wasn’t him just being Tony. That was mental health. And he ultimately lost the battle.
Biles could have (and has in the past just like many athletes) followed a similar track, just like so many other people in this world when trying to survive through mental health (and physical) troubles. You push through, ignore it, stuff it, bury it, compartmentalize it, and keep going. But eventually, that’s going to catch up to you and it’s not going to be pretty. Whether it’s a physical injury, emotional distress, mental confusion, isolation, murder, or suicide…it will happen. It’s just a matter of time.
When you are a misfit, or a supreme athlete (G.O.A.T), celebrity, or an everyday person and don’t fit into the world’s mold of who they think you should be and do…it can be tough. Adding mental health issues to the mix only compounds that struggle, and that mental health pressure can be brought on by the very thing we love and are good at. We all long to belong and to be loved. That’s the nature of being human. Tony saw that desire in others when he traveled. His wandering soul bonded with them. Biles felt it when she was labeled the G.O.A.T and when she realized the amount of support she’s received for her decision in spite of the naysayers.
It all goes back to what I do and believe in which is connection and relationships. We can’t live without it. But we also can’t let it dominate our lives and obsess us so much that we lose ourselves in it. We can’t let the expectations and pressure of others push us beyond reality. Boundaries are super important to stay healthy. And sometimes that means we have to make a hard call as to what that boundary needs to be. Often, other people won’t like it because it messes up their expectations (tough shit, peeps), but I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the support you receive, too.
When I think of the Steve Jobs quote about the misfits, the crazy ones, etc., that’s on the home page of my website, I feel it embodies Tony, Simone, you, and me. The ones like us who fall outside the “norm” are the ones who will change the world, big and small. And it’s always been my desire and goal to empower those who also don’t fit in, those who dream big, those who rebel against what they are told to be or “should be” and amplify their voice so they can change the world. Let’s be the enabler of changemakers.
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Things I Read and Loved This Week:
Kenya’s unusual solution to illegal poaching and logging
Why unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments, The Psychology of Expectations
Deepak Chopra tackles materialism and how we already possess the solution to every self-created problem, simply by referring to our own consciousness.
A Belgian farmer accidentally moves the French border
Women are standing up to the patriarchal, archaic Saudi Arabia in the chess world
I’m obsessed with this recipe and eating it while I write this
We binged this Amazon Prime tv series and now we’re sad it’s over. Watch it!